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10 things you as a partner do not say to your wife during the birth
We all say awkward things in times of stress. Partners during the birth of their baby have a hand in this.
Of course they often mean well, but at times like a birth it can go just as wrong. Even if you prepare well through a pregnancy course with, for example, hypnobirthing, it is quite normal that you still have some healthy tension in your body, and maybe you say the wrong things. Well gentlemen and ladies, here’s a list of the things you absolutely must not say during childbirth.
1. There has never been one left.
Is this really still used? Of course. With only good intentions behind it. What you as a partner are actually trying to say with this is ‘this will pass’. It is simply not helpful at all during birth that millions of women have already preceded you and above all; that they have already given birth and you have not yet. Tip: adjust the pronunciation slightly, with the same good intentions. For example, ‘You’ve come a long way, you’re doing great’.
2. And this is just the beginning.
At the first resting point of Kilimanjaro you don’t say ‘the hardest kilometers are yet to come’. This makes no one happy, and it gives citizens anything but courage. ‘YES it has started, today our baby is born’ already sounds a lot more positive.
3. Pooh, how tired I am.
If the three of you want to go home together as a happy family, I would keep this one for you as a loving partner.
4. I’m going to order pizza, would you like something?
During birth, women basically eat almost nothing. In addition, they have a highly developed sense of smell. They smell eaten garlic cloves 3 days away. There is a good chance that you will be outside on the balcony with your pizza 5 minutes after receipt. So do everyone, especially your wife, a favor and spread a sandwich with cheese.
5. I will let the midwife know that you are having contractions.
Pre-contractions, the word says it all. These are the contractions at the very beginning of a labor, or even before the birth. Calling with pre-contractions doesn’t make much sense. It can then take quite a while before the birth really starts. So look for distraction and don’t focus on every cramp you feel. In addition, your midwife’s calling instructions are made for a reason. If you are not worried, you do not need to inform your midwife about pre-contractions. You may wake her up when she can’t do much for you yet. Front contractions can subside again, a shame if you then gave a false ‘green light’. In this situation you wait quietly, and possibly go back to sleep. Kisses and kind words are of course always very welcome.
6. Name your own physical complaints.
When you’re in labour, you have little empathy for your partner’s sprained ankle or stiff neck. So even if your football knee hurts or you have some back pain because you have been sitting in the same position for a long time, grab a paracetamol in silence and continue ssst..
7. Can the light be turned on?
Yes you can, in another room. Often women like dim lighting when they are in labor. This gives them a little more chance to ‘dive’ into the contractions. You weaken a sense, so you are more focused on what is happening in your body, you can turn more inward. So if you as a partner need light to complete your Sudoku puzzle, you either do that somewhere else or you save it for another time. If you need a distraction, try a gentle massage technique on your wife, because that way she makes extra endorphins to get more into her ‘birth bubble’. She will surely be very grateful to you.
8. Do you think I can go to the office tomorrow?
It is very logical that when you are not giving birth yourself, there are still all kinds of practical arrangements in your head. If you ask your girlfriend these kinds of questions while she is in labour, you have a chance that you will get her out of her ‘birth bubble’, and that is exactly what you don’t want to do. I would like to give you the answer to the question whether you can go to the office tomorrow: ‘No, you can’t go to the office tomorrow’.
9. Will it be okay again?
Jokes about a vagina are forbidden for at least a week after giving birth. The vagina itself for a bit longer, by the way. During childbirth you can imagine that there is pressure on the vagina and pelvic floor muscles, which can cause swelling. In addition, it may also be necessary to stitch. Know that a swelling subsides, and that stitches heal. So the answer to the question is, “YES, it’s going to be okay.”
10. Ajax is 2-0 behind.
The fact that you are looking for some distraction during (the beginning of) the birth does not have to be something bad for both of you. An exciting football final, on the other hand, increases adrenaline. Adrenaline inhibits oxytocin and endorphins, which are just the substances you need as a woman during childbirth. So if you would like some distraction, opt for a romantic Netflix comedy, okay, not comparable to Ajax, but good for the atmosphere during childbirth.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]